The Letter
by Miz Perfect
Summary: Pigs must be flying Miz Perfect has finally updated.
1. Default Chapter

**HEY! Read the A.N. First.**

Alright, for starters this is **slash, **though it's not remotely graphic. If youlike pizza but don't like olives, don't order pizza with olives. If you like fanfiction but don't like slash, don't read slash. **This is your last warning! **If you flame me without some _constructive _critism then I'll just laugh and play with the fire.

**Disclaimer:** Sherlock Holmes and his original stories we created by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and are currently owned by his estate. The _Case of the Exhumed Client_ is actually from an episode of Sherlock Holmes that aired in the early 50s, with Sherlock Holmes played by Ronald Howard and Watson played by H. Marion Crawford. If you can get a hold of a copy I highly recomend it. By the way I didn't change the names or plots of_The Exhumed Client_ one bit.I'm only using these characters and events for personal enjoyment and make no money off of using them. Please don't sue me I'm a student, one of many living off of Top Ramen.

**Summary**: While Holmes was believed to be dead Watson wrote a letter to him, never believing it would be found. Now that Holmes is back and he's looking through papers while Watson's away, he finds that letter.

The Letter

Holmes was looking for Watson's account of _"The Case of the Exhumed Client"_ where they had captured Elizabeth Farnsworth who had murdered her elder brother Sir Charles by switching his candles with candles made of arsenic when her brother was dared to sleep alone in the mansion's supposedly "cursed" tower. Holmes himself found the method ingenious and cunning, especially after he nearly lost his own life by spending a night alone in the tower. He only lit one candle but had it not been for Watson's foresightedness to buy arsenic antidote Holmes would have died. A relatively simple case! Elizabeth had gone to the gallows just last week and Holmes felt the urge for some reason to read the case, but he was having severe difficulty finding it. If only Watson was there instead of at his practice.

In exasperation, Holmes dumped one of the drawers of paper on to the floor. As he surveyed the mess he'd caused by going through the files he noticed his name on an envelope. He picked it up, filled his pipe, and flopped into his favorite chair to survey the envelope. The envelope itself was of a common make that just about anyone could use, there was no stamp or address, there was only Holmes's name in moderately priced ink made in London likely at Ross Co. The writer was obviously Watson. Holmes knew his handwriting anywhere, but was curious to why Watson had written Holmes a letter instead of simply speaking with him and why not give it to Holmes.

Using his jack knife Holmes opened the envelope and began to look at the letter. The date explained why it was written, it was during a time when Watson believed him dead, and the contents explained why the letter was hidden.

May 16, 1892

_My Dear Holmes, _

_I'm not entirely sure why I'm writing this, I suppose there are thoughts that I just need to express to you to ease my own pain. I have trouble believing you are really dead, you know? I almost expect you to walk in here right now and tell me how pointless my moping is. But I miss you, more than you could know. What did you see me as? A friend, an assistant, a nuisance, a comrade, a confident, or something else entirely? I bet you never saw me the way I saw you._

_You probably never guessed that I've broken English Law. Well I did. Nothing so dramatic as murder or as greedy as robbery, I dared to love a man and to make love with a man. I feel no guilt in the matter, love is universal and romance is merely a form of expressing love and devotion, gender has very little to do with love. During the Battle of Muiwad, where I was wounded, my lover Anthony was killed. I vowed to never love again and then months later I met you._

_I knew that I couldn't help but fall in love with you the moment I saw you. I never expected to fall so hard for you, like a moth to a flame. While you were a private man you weren't as cold hearted as many believed. You truly cared for those who suffered from injustice and for those who cared for you in your own unique way. You had such an amazing mind and heart, not to mention your well-built body._

_I never took the chance to start a romantic relationship with you because I feared the loss of your friendship. I feared never seeing you again, of not being there when you needed me. It seems my fear of not being with you when you needed me happened anyways didn't it? I'll never forgive myself for not facing Moriarty with you. I would have gladly traded my life for your. You are important to many people including me and the world will never be the same without you._

_As always your friend,_

_John H. Watson_

For a moment all Holmes could do was stare at the letter he held in his shaking hands and let the tide of emotions wash over him. He didn't know which took more precedence: guilt for the unnecessary pain and guilt he'd caused Watson, anger at himself for not guessing Watson's feelings before now, confusion at why Watson had these feelings in the first place, or happiness in the knowledge that Watson cared about him.

Holmes placed the letter on his desk and began organizing the files he'd strewn everywhere as he contemplated Watson's letter. Why? Why did Watson love him of all people? Watson had heard his opinion on love many times over and knew all of Holmes worst vices. Did Watson assume that the love was not returned? Probably, according to the contents of the letter.

Was the love returned? Did he love Watson? Watson certainly was important, but just what was his place in Holmes's life? Watson was his biographer, the one who published and recorded his cases. He also was Holmes assistant in his cases, his companion, his confident, his best friend, and the one person he could always rely on and trust.

All right so he cared for Watson deeply and quite possibly loved him, but was there any romance? He imagined for a moment what he'd do if Watson told him to his face that he loved him. Probably faint. Watson believed his feeling unimportant though, so he would never admit to them.

He cared for Watson and Watson was the person closest to him including Mycroft. It seemed the best way to discover if he returned Watson's feelings was through the scientific method. A simple experiment or two would suffice; the stakes were too high in this experiment for failure.

Holmes finished cleaning up the room and hid the letter in his bedroom. He sat back down in his chair; puffing his pipe, and waiting for Watson to return so he could get to work.

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**A.N.-** I don't have a continuation currently written, but if anyone wants me to write one let me know. 


	2. Stating the Questions

**A.N. PLEASE READ**

I'm really sorry about how short this chapter is and how long it took to get out, but I'll try to do better with the chapter after this. Alot of this chapter and the chapters following will discuss the scientific method or at least one version of it, I've heard four separate versions. **Also **this chapter makes a reference to Holmes's past that might sound familiar to those of you who have read the novel _The Seven Percent Solution_, which I do not make any money off of. **Be aware that this chapter may seem like a step back from the last one and for that I apologize.**

_Thank-you to everyone who reviewed. And because I could not reach you..._

**Lurking in the shadows...: You're right the phrase does not fit well with a Victorian gentleman of England,but sadly I'm not exactly an expert on what a Victorian gentleman might say.Thanks for your review.**

_For a fulldisclaimer, summary, etc., read teh first chapter._

Chapter 2: Research

If one followed the scientific method perfectly it would go something like the following: state the question, research the topic, form a hypothesis, experiment, analyze the data, and form a conclusion. Holmes considered the letter a form of research and was currently pulling up every romance related memory he had, for further research. His parents in Holmes's opinion were not the best of candidates, William and Emily Holmes had not had the best of marriages. William Holmes was pushy, controlling, and gone often on long trips. Emily Holmes, whether out of spite or loneliness, started an affair with one of Mycroft and Sherlock's tutors. When William Holmes learned of his wife's infidelity, he divorced her and fired the tutor.

Holmes supposed that because each romance, each person, was unique that he would have to research Watson himself. He would have to be careful what questions he asked Watson, because it would not do to make Watson suspicious of his behavior or uncomfortable. After all as curious as Holmes was to Watson's romantic feelings, he would not want to harm the friendship that they both shared. As Holmes's mind processed all of this at lightning speed, Watson returned home.

"Hullo Mrs. Hudson" greeted Watson as he came through the door. "Welcome home Dr. Watson, supper will be served soon" said Mrs. Hudson to Watson as he went up the stairs in a decidedly cheery mood. Holmes knew Watson was in a good mood from his quick but loud steps and his tone of voice. Watson strolled in the room with a large grin on his face and sat across from Holmes with a "Good evening Holmes how was your day?" Holmes gave what was closest to a smile for him, more of smirk really, and responded "Well enough Watson but then I didn't assist in a birth today". "How on earth did you deduce that," exclaimed Watson in surprise.

"Quite simply my dear fellow, you are in a good mood so obviously something pleasurable happened to you today. You do not smell of the unique brandy you enjoy so much at your club and your shoes do not have hardly any wear at all. Therefore you did not travel much today and because you are home so early you obviously felt you'd worked a full day. It obviously was not a recovery from an illness since it absorbed a full day, leaving a birth as the only happy occurrence possible" answered Holmes. "Once again, you make it all absurdly simple Holmes" said Watson with a laugh.

As Mrs. Hudson brought up dinner, Holmes began to formulate the questions he would ask Watson and _how_ he'd ask them.

**I'll try to have the next chapter out soon! I appreciate compliments and critism, plus reviews urge me to keep writing. '.**


	3. Researching the Topic

**A.N. **

**THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU WONDERFUL REVIEWERS!**

_D#mn I can't belive how long it's taken me to get this chapter out. I apologize, I've had the worst writer's block. I've rewritten this chapter four times and I still don't quite like it. Hopefully I'll get over this block soon! **Suggestions are both welcome and appreciated. **_

**FYI:** I do not know what Holmes's favorite meal is or even what a middle class gentleman ate in Victorian England and yes for those whos did not know there were laws against homosexual relationships against men during Holmes and Watson's time. The law didn't include women because Queen Victoria didn't even believe in their existance. Though the law was a whole lot kinder under Victoria's reign. I believe the punishment was several months in prison during Victoria's reign, but I know during Henry VIII's time and possibly before and definately after for many years the punishment was death. Eeek!

Reviews are appreciated

Chap.3 : Researching the Topic Part One

Dinner at 221b Baker Street comprised of roast pheasant and Mrs. Hudson's mashed potatoes. Actually one of Holmes's favorite dishes, but he could not take his eyes off of Watson for more than a few moments. He wasn't sure of why that was; it wasn't like Watson was acting different from his usual self. Deciding to focus on his " research" he started working on a plausible excuse for his questions. Coming up with believable stories off the cuff was not new to Holmes and a workable story formed extremely quickly.

"Watson, would you be so kind as to assist me in a matter I'm working on?" asked Holmes.

Watson looked up at Holmes from his plate with a gentle smile and responded, "You know it is my privilege to help you, how can I be of assistance Holmes?"

"A client of mine in a high position is worried that his friend, a male friend, is wooing him in hopes of pursuing a romantic relationship. I have doubts however that that is the case. That is your area of expertise though Watson not mine, and I was hoping you might tell me what you would consider signs of romantic interest from a male?"

Watson was startled by the question; he stared at Holmes for a moment in silence. Seeing Watson's discomfort Holmes quickly added "Well we both know that my experience with the love is non existent and yet you seemed to have had no trouble wooing ladies." Watson seemed to relax and actually chuckled "True enough and I can imagine your client is afraid of a scandal should his friend's feelings be of a romantic nature."

"Quite" agreed Holmes.

" Well I can't speak for homosexual men of course," said Watson with an uneasy chuckle "but I do believe that it depends on what your client's friend is doing as far as wooing."

"Well," started Holmes " they are very close friends, in fact my client describes him as his 'closest and most trusted companion'". "They travel together, work together, often eat and attend entertainment together, and even live close to another. My client is not concerned with the fact that a homosexual relationship is against the law but of damaging his friend's reputation and the companionship they share," continued Holmes.

"And you Holmes," asked Watson "aren't you concerned about your client breaking the laws of England with such a relationship."

"Actually Watson now that I consider the law I find it to be a rather pointless one. If both partners are willing and of a proper age, then what harm is done. Laws like the ones regarding homosexual relationships make those who break them feel trapped and desperate enough to break much larger laws. By sending homosexuals to jail Parliament merely guarantees that criminal behavior will weigh on those individuals and dominate their personality for life" answered Holmes.

Watson was awed at Holmes's answer and remainedspeechless for several moments.

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I hope to have the next part out soon but don't hold your breath.


	4. Forming a Hypothesis

What the heck? I don't know what happened here's how the chapter should have looked. I'm so sorry!

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_(And Watson was speechless for several…months! _I'm so sorry this has taken so long and is so short. Thank you all reviewers for your reviews. Happy Thanksgiving and I hope to have the next update out sooner than I did the last one. )

Chap.4 : Researching the Topic Part Two

Watson eventually got a hold of his shock and returned to his meal muttering that he would have to think out an appropriate answer for Holmes. Holmes grunted an affirmative and returned to his meal as well. As the two companions focused on their meals there was no conversation between them, merely what could be described as an energized silence. Not uncomfortable but full of the energy that is found in room where much thought is occurring.

When Holmes and Watson finished their meals they both settled in front of the fireplace with their pipes. Holmes was in his mind beginning to recall a scene from his youth. While his family was not enormously wealthy they were very well off and had hired several servants. One of the stable boys when he had broken his foot around the horses had been cared for by one of the kitchen staff. The two had eventually married and lived, as far as Holmes knew, quite happily.

Holmes could not forget the obvious affection between the two young lovers, which had not become noticeable till the stable boy's injury. Holmes bet that light could be shed on his conundrum regarding Watson if he pushed Watson's affection to be reveled. Certainly he did not want any harm to come to Watson but he did not want Watson to be without affection that he might deserve.

Holmes was certain that he could act out the role that would be required. Perhaps with Watson's feeling unveiled, Holmes would be able to view his own clearly.


	5. Experimentation

**Oops wrong play, thank Mysterylover17 for pointing that out.**

_I apologize for how late this update is and that I have no other excuse other than lack of motivation and lack of time. Thank you everyone who reviewed Chapter Four: Listiel, jenisnape, Reigning Fyre, R, Nooka, and Mysterylover17. Ihope this meets your expectations:) I willdo my best tohave the next chapter out soon, keep in mind that reviews and complaints of my slownessare good motivators. Enjoy!_

Chapter 5: Experimentation

While "The Importance of Being Ernest" was not the kind of play Holmes usually attended, it was what he had purchased tickets for. Holmes had for the entire day been so cheerful that Watson had actually asked Holmes if he had been using his cocaine, causing Holmes to laugh that peculiar laugh of his. The one that was just a simple "ha" but was still so quick that it was almost wasn't a laugh at all. Watson still seemed to keep one worried eye on Holmes at all times, giving Holmes the attention he craved from Watson for his experiment.

Around noon Holmes told Watson that the two of them were to attend Mr. Wilde's popular play after a dinner at Marcini's. Watson, while surprised, gave no objections to Holmes plans and dressed in one of his best suits for the evening. The show was extremely entertaining and the dinner excellent. So Watson found himself in the best of moods as he and Holmes hailed a hansom to return to Baker Street. That is until Watson noticed Holmes' hand was trembling with no control that Watson could perceive.

"Are you all right Holmes?" Watson asked carefully.

"Perfectly" answered Holmes with a smile, while he reached into his breast pocket to retrieve a handkerchief to wipe his forehead as if there was sweat on his forehead. Watson also noticed that Holmes face was flushed, though it could be just excitement from the evening, Watson still felt concerned.

The ride back to Baker Street was tense with Watson watching Holmes wipe his forehead constantly and note Holmes' shortness of breath. Inwardly Holmes was examining his experiment; he found himself enjoying being the recipient of Watson's attention. Did that mean that he returned Watson's affections? Holmes decided to carry the experiment a bit further as he and Watson arrived at Baker Street.

As the two companions started up the stairs to their rooms Holmes purposely let himself stumble a bit on the stairs. Holmes gripped the banister tightly and used it to pull himself awkwardly up the stairs, giving him the appearance of someone who was weak and off balance. Watson, who had been watching this from the bottom of the stairs with apprehension, shouted up the stairs to Holmes "Wait Holmes, let me give you a hand…" Holmes grinned to himself as he was pulling himself up the stairs began to turn around to tell Watson not to be concerned. Then Holmes lost his grip on the banister in the process of stepping on the next step, causing him to slip and slid backwards down the stairs.

With a horrendous crash Holmes landed at the foot of the stairs, disoriented, Holmes closed his eyes and tried to gather his thoughts. Meanwhile a pair of strong arms began to carry him up the stairs and a rather shaken woman's voice could be heard shouting up the stairs.


End file.
